Two scientists walk into a bar
The first says “I’ll have some H2O.”
The second says “I’ll have some H2O, too.”
Both of them receive water because the bartender is not irresponsible enough to serve concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.
the other version
why doesn’t anywhere sell normal clothes for women? like i want a plain black fuckin sweater not a mohair cross stitch embroidered cropped asymmetrical slouch longline short sleeved drop hem thing with a hole in the back
can i get an amen
Sorry, we only stock the Amen in size XXS.
This little guy came nosing around a friend’s patio door
can we just take a moment
and appreciate actors
that dress up as their characters
if hell is on fire and shit all the time wouldn’t summoned demons be cold on earth and need to wear sweaters and stuff
He looks so polite, like he just wants to stop by and see if you have anything for him.
Damn celebrity privileges
NOOOO NO NO NONO FUCK FUCK FUCKIG CBS IS TELLING WOMEN NOT TO REPORT SEXUAL HARASSMENT BECAUSE IT WILL “DAMAGE THEIR CAREERS” and “HARASSMENT IS AN UNFORTUNATE PART OF CLIMBING THE LADDER” I AM SO ANGRY THEY ARE LITERALLY TURNING SEXUAL HARASSMENT INTO A NORM THIS IS NOT OKAY
This is an actual article and I’m still having a hard time believing it’s real.
do you ever have a plan for the day and suddenly it’s 4pm and you’ve achieved literally nothing
I believe Douglas Adams and John Lloyd came up with a word for this feeling.